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Taylor, we tried to come up with funny answers. This is K, S, and R’s best effort. R suggested asking how many heads of lettuce do you own? If none, how many do you want to own?

1. Old isn’t a number, it’s a smell.

15. My husband caught me with my mechanic.

22. Orange

14./25. “No grace before death”

26. Henry Miller

30. Yeah, but I tell them to get bent.

31. Duchamps’ Urinal

32. Crusty Skidder Pants

33. Bird watching with the binoculars turned round to make the birds look farther away.

34. I identify as drinking water anxiously.

36. Wild lettuce bath bombs

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I'm on the metro in DC and just read your delicious as usual text. I will answer ASAP

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